A memorable pick-up game

[fathead]

Year: 1996
Location: Milwaukee, in one of the many rows of grey clothe gaming cubicles
Story: A memorable pick-up game

One of the most memorable gaming experiences I had was the result of a no-show (the GM scheduled an event, but never arrived). At GenCon, there is seldom a problem with picking up another game…but I had an adventure with me (that I had written), so I decided to run a quick pick-up game. This is a long one, so bear with me…

At the edge of a great expanse of desert (known as the Blight of Madeera) is a city named Arkeene. Arkeene was ruled by 13 powerful mages, known as “the Symbols”. They did not tolerate thievery in their city, and were known for their unorthodox punishments (one of the most common was using magic to enslave a thief and make them do menial chores). This was made well known at the beginning of the adventure.

The adventure itself had a simple premise - a mysterious illness had struck the city, and primarily affected spellcasters. The adventurers were to discover the source of the illness (which would eventually lead them into the desert and a short dungeon crawl). The latter half of the adventure was where thieves were needed…of which there were two in the party – a halfling thief and an elven thief/mage. I was fairly accommodating to what they players had interest in doing…which is where the fun began.

The 1st encounter was in a crowded auction house. Before the encounter could occur, the Halfling thief decided to attempt a pick pockets…and failed. Halflings were rare in Arkeene, so his thieving attempt certainly wouldn’t go unnoticed. He managed to escape, and disguised himself as a dwarf. This seems fairly innocuous, but bear with me.

That evening (before the group was to trek out into the desert), the two thieves decided that they wanted to “ply their trade”.

They decided to hit a gem merchant. They were showed some ingenuity, so I let them get away with it (hoping to get back to the core part of the adventure). Normally, I wouldn’t cater so much to two players, but the entire table seemed to be enjoying their escapades.

One player (the Halfling) decided that it was too risky to remain in the city after the gem heist. So, he pocketed his earnings, removed his dwarf disguise (so that he wouldn’t be recognized for the jewelry heist), and attempted to leave.

At this point, I remove the Halfling player from the table, and run his part separately.

Certainly, the guards must have been suspicious at someone attempting to leave the city in the dead of night…but it was even more interesting since they had been asked to look out for a Halfling matching the thief’s description. The halfing is promptly taken in. When the jewels are discovered, the thief is interrogated magically (by one of the Symbols of Arkeene).

I returned to the table and pull the thief/mage away for his part (which I didn’t expect to last too long anyway, since the other player had already ratted out his friend).

The thief/mage took some time scouting out a noble house. He makes his way in and is sneaking down a corridor when a Symbol of Arkeene and several guards suddenly appear down the hall (teleport without error).

Player: “I open the door to my right and close it behind me”

Me: “Alright. You’re in a garderobe”

Player: “A garderobe?”

GM: “Yes…a bathroom…the privy. You hear footsteps in the hallway.”

Player: “I cast shrink (reduce) on myself. I’m climbing into the toilet.”

GM: Pause.

I read the spell parameters and determine can’t quite make himself small enough…but it’s close.

GM: “Alright…the Symbol of Arkeene and his guards enter the garderrobe, just as you are beginning to cram yourself into the potty”

Of course, the 2nd thief is now caught. If it had ended here, it would have been just as fun…but it didn’t. While I was away from the table, the other players (it was apparent that the other players were all part of the same gaming group) were antagonizing the other thief player, and telling him that they would ask the Symbol to make him into their personal slave. Apparently, the player didn’t warm to that idea.

I return to the table. The Halfling player asks to speak with me away from the table.

Player: “Do I have my thieves picks on me?”

Me: laugh “No, the guards would have checked you”

Player: “What if I had hidden it well?”

At this point, I think to myself, “what can it hurt? He’s already in jail, with guards at the door”.

Me: rolling dice “Alright, they miraculously didn’t find your thief picks”

Player: “I stab myself in the neck”

Me: “what?”

Player: “I stab myself in the neck with a thief pick…in the jugular. I’m not going to be one of their slaves. I’m going out with my dignity”.

Personally, I didn’t find it to be a terribly dignified end for the halfling, but…

I come back to the table. The other characters discover that one of their companions is standing trial for thievery, while the other is dead. They decide to attend the trial.

The woman playing the cleric insists that there must have been wrongdoing…why was the Halfling thief dead? She requested to see the body, and casts Speak With Dead. Now, the interesting thing about Speak With Dead…the deceased can choose to be cryptic…

Cleric: How did you die?

Thief: Stabbing

Cleric: Did someone kill you?

Thief: Umm…yes.

Cleric: Who killed you?

Thief: a thief

GM: That’s all of the questions that you have.

I had a hard time stifling my laughter.

The game continued, and the players finally returned to the original plot. After a couple hours, there is a combat which occurs in the mortuary of Arkeene and a necromancer creates undead. Of course, the Halflings body would have been one of the more recent additions to the mortuary. The whole table erupted in laughter when I gave the description of the bloated and bruised form of the Halfling lumbering down the hallway after them. I returned the Halfling thief character sheet to the player and tell him that he is a zombie. That seemed to put a good cap on the whole story.

Probably the most memorable pick-up game I’ve ever played…