BEATING THE PANTS OFF WIZARDS OF THE COAST!

[Panzerfaust]

RATE THIS TALE

1. GREAT

2. FUNNY SPOTS

3. I'VE DONE BETTER

4 MY BLIND GRANNY WRITES FUNNIER STORIES

5. IT WAS SO BAD I CRIED

MY VOTE IS ( )

SORRY CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SET UP POLL











THE OLD GUYS STORY





It happened a long time ago in a country far far away! I’m such a Star Wars nut that I even named my son Luke. I couldn’t quite convince my wife that naming our daughter Lay-Ah was a good idea. In retrospect she was probably right (I hate it when they do that)! I’ve always been a gamer from Chess, Stratego, Risk to Monopoly. So when my youngest son started playing Magic I should have known the doom that would befall me. My goal is now to own at least 1 of all the restricted cards and the 4+ of all the ones you’re allowed to play 4 of. I don’t drink toooo much so I’m allowing this to be my addiction.

So even though I have most of the cards a good Magic Competitor should have. I’m still just a casual and sometimes pretty sad player. My greatest claim to fame is my age. I’m 53 and still playing. I’ve been dubbed the old guy by most of the local group I play cards with. To make matters more interesting this group of Canuck gamers invited me to go to the 2002 Gen Con.
It was during this last Gen Con at Milwaukee that this story unfolded. Wizards of the Coast set up a large display including a mock Castle area of all there present and upcoming new CCG’s. Wizards had a Wheel Of Fortune booth set up. The wheel had the names of the various Collectible Card Games on it. The idea was what ever came up at the pointer for example “Harry Potter” you would then be asked a question if you could answer you would win some small prize. You were allowed to spin the wheel and if you didn’t like the category you could spin again. That is if you had enough spin coupons with you or if you didn’t hit the “Special Act Like A Dork Category” . I believe it was actually called the “Special Challenge”. If you hit this no matter how many spin tokens you had now you were at the mercy of the Stage Crew.

There was quite a queue as I made my way to the stage so I had time to plan my strategy. I started to see that the prizes they were giving out were pretty crappie. So I came up with a plan, here’s what happened! I made it to the stage. I was asked by the MC what was my favorite game? I told them my wife might hear so I couldn’t tell them but I did love playing Magic. So I spun the wheel and of course on the first spin the dreaded “ Make People Looked Stupid Slot” came up. Before the MC had a chance to put the gavel down I put my plan into play.

I walked over to the MC poked him in the chest and said I’ve got a challenge for you!

The MC says” I’m game what do you have in mind?”

I told him “I’m going to do a push-up that you can’t do. If I do this I want my pick of the prizes! “

The MC goes “What? one hand push ups, terror welling in his eyes!

I said “Nope, too easy, what do you say!”

“OK I’ll agree” the MC states “but you have to do 5 and if I can even do 1 you get zip, notta, nothing!”

I being somewhat of a showoff knew what I was doing. This push up of which I speak is kind of weird. You have to lay flat on the ground get on the tips of your toes. Then you reach forward as far ahead of your toes as you can reach. So imagine this, you are laying flat on the ground and your toes and tips of your fingers are as far apart as they can be. Not such a hard thing if you’re going to lay on the floor and pretend you’re a mop. The big trick is how do you do a push up from this position? I really can’t explain it but it is possible. I think I did 10 in a row then 5 one handed push ups “Rocky Balboa style”. I received a cheer and a standing ovation from the crowd. Then the MC proceeded to try the exercise, he did a good approximation of a fish out of water but somehow never did accomplish the push up.


He awarded me my prize of choice. Then because we’d given the crowd so much entertainment he gave me a handful of other prizes. Later walking around with my new Diplomacy game in hand I kept wondering why I didn’t try to win something smaller.